Monday, August 4, 2008

Where did the year go???

I have decided something...

Since the years go by so quickly, it isn't really where you are going nor where you have been, but where you are right now. Of course, where I have been has built who I am today but I have the power to change that. I watch my children and so much happens right now. A smile, a giggle, the pincer grasp, new words, using the toilet and saying, "Goodbye to diapers." All of the most important things are happening right now. And every day, something important is happening.

I realize that we cannot forsee the future. We do not know where it leads. Death usually comes as a surprise so, now is really all that we've got. This means that I must keep moving right now in whatever way that makes me happy. Whether it be walking, running, weight lifting, Yoga, whatever. It's all the same. It not only keeps me healthy but balances my state of mind.

I realize that keeping my cool right now is important because it builds my children's characters. If I yell, so do they. If I blow off the handle, it will be all that they know. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

My older son will be 3 and my baby will be 1. This tells me that I won't have a baby in the house any longer. This makes me a bit sad and nostalgic. No, I am not going to have another baby. As much as I love it, I am relieved that those very difficult yet beautiful moments are soon to be behind me. The sleepless nights will not be missed. The constant need for my infant's need for me. My constant worry that something horrific will happen in the middle of the night. Hmm, I am sure that that particular feeling never goes away when it comes to our children. No matter how old they are.

It is true...what really matters is right now!! Right NOW!!!

Live for now. Play with your children. Love your husband. Love your wife. Go for a ride to your favorite place. Book a trip to somewhere you've never been.

Just live!!!!